For me, one of the perks of being a SAHM is being able to take Abby to school every day, pick her up, and occasionally volunteer in her classroom. I have been able to be a "room mommy" often over the past few months, and have gotten to know the kids and the class routine well. This past Tuesday, though, was the first time that being in Abby's class made me seriously miss teaching. I feel so at home in a classroom-- I miss having my own! I even felt a bit jealous watching the teachers make small talk across the hallway, or huddle closely to discuss the latest school gossip. It really got me excited at the prospect of teaching again someday. But when I really started thinking about it, I began to panic-- when will I go back?? Will I be prepared for the changes since I was in a classroom?? Will I even be hired anywhere?? This mini panic-attack lead to the much bigger question: what comes next for a SAHM??
So after mulling this over for a while, I planned to bring it up to two of my closest SAHM friends last night over wine. Surprisingly, though, one of THEM brought up the topic, saying something along the lines of, "I am starting to wonder about what I'll do when the kids are all grown up and don't need me as much." Bingo! That got us all talking about things we were interested in, and things we could possibly see ourselves doing in the future. The whole conversation completely validated my fears of what comes next-- I am not the only SAHM who feels this way! We didn't really come to any conclusions last night because we all want more kids, and we all want to continue staying home for now, but the conversation opened up a topic we had never really touched on before, and was so refreshing; it was just about US, instead of kids, and babies, and husbands, and houses...all topics that can tend to monopolize the SAHM conversations. I love being home taking care of my girls, my husband, and my house...but there are definitely dreams I have for myself that are JUST for me, whether it's teaching again, or something else, and I know my other SAHM friends have them too. It's one of the things that I envy about Michelle and other working moms-- not just that they get paid and get healthy doses of adult time-- but that they have something for themselves. As a SAHM, sometimes having anything for yourself is last on the list. But I hope that by continuting to discuss our dreams for ourselves we can help each other keep them alive-- and eventually make some of them a reality.
-Beth
This "mommy blog" is for all moms out there who are working in and out of the home, from the perspective of two best friends with completely different "mommy lives" (one with a successful career in business and one who stays home), but the same fundamental goal: to be the best moms we can be. Our purpose is to bridge the gap between the two different "mommy worlds" based on our two perspectives in experiencing the ups and downs of each, all while maintaining our 12-year-and-counting friendship.
I feel like I am in the same boat!! Some day I want a career... and honestly I don't even know what I want it to be yet. But I'm worried that when my kids are in school that I'm going to have to go back to school forever to achieve it, or I'm scared that I'm just going to end up taking any old job just to have a job.
ReplyDeleteWhen I worry about this stuff though I just try to remember that my kids are only young for so long. My twin boys are going to be 3 this June and it has gone by lightening fast! Beth, I think we are going to be very happy one day that we sacrificed financially and emotionally (or whatever way) to stay at home for such a short period. We really have a long time to work when you think about it! Hopefully one day we will have that career! (I'm excited about this blog by the way)
Hi bdmomma!
ReplyDeleteIt's so comforting to hear someone echo your thoughts and fears, isn't it? I think there are so many of us in the same shoes, and this blog opens the lines of communication for all kinds of moms to share their good and bad "mommy moments." And I do think you are right-- I know I will never regret the time I am spending at home with my kids, even the challenging days. It will go by MUCH too quickly. Someone once told me that as a mom, "the days are long, but the years are short," and I see now how true that is.
Keep following and posting comments so we can keep the conversation going!!!
-Beth